Profile story on Mija Said and how Coronavirus caused her father to pass away.
From screaming matches while cussing each other out on the big grey concrete steps of their home in Brooklyn to being the warm bear hug needed while crying after months of not speaking, Mija Said never had a perfect relationship with her father. There were many months at a time where the two of them stopped talking because they were so similar causing them to want to rip each other's head off, constantly. She would take these breaks from speaking to her dad because “Sometimes you really need to value your mental health over everyone else and you can’t feel guilty for it,” she said. On April 7, 2020, that relationship changed forever.
One week earlier, her father had been hospitalized from Coronavirus, April 7th Mija had been sitting on her living room couch while on the phone with her older sister Gabby when her brother started to call her, Mija told Gabby she didn’t want to answer because every day after her brother spoke to the hospital there was something new going on with their dad. Eventually, she answered the call and added Gabby, her brother could not speak, he kept mumbling his words and was not able to gather a full sentence. Gabby hung up immediately and Mija started to scream at the top of her lungs to her brother “Stop lying, this isn’t funny, I just had a baby, stop lying right now!”
After they hung up, she didn’t cry, she grabbed her 3-month-old baby boy off the living room floor while he was playing with his little toy trains and began to hug him, standing in silence. She walked into her room in complete and utter shock, laid the baby in the middle of the bed with about three pillows surrounding him, and sat on the corner of her bed. Her younger sister Samantha called her moments later asking if she was okay, “I’m okay right now, everything will be okay, how are you?” she answered calmly. Samantha told her she was alright, but she wanted to keep Mija on the phone. Later that day by her side on the bed, her phone was vibrating and making that little wind-chime noise nonstop. The phone constantly rang with calls, text messages, and social media direct messages. Mija eventually picked up her iPhone, went into settings put on the do not disturb feature, and walked to the living room to put the phone down so that it would stop driving her crazy. She couldn’t handle everything that was happening, the United States had just shut down from this virus that no one has ever heard of before, she had just starting to speak to her father again, dealing with postpartum depression, her son just being born, having to start working again, and now her father had just passed away.
On March 16th her grandmother who lived with her father started to feel sick very fatigued, and bad congestion. In the meantime, Mija and her dad just started to make arrangements so that he could watch the baby while she goes to work during the day throughout the next following months. That same day, following their set routine, Mija’s father came to her house to watch the baby while she went out and bought pampers and other things for the baby. Her father started to feel very tired and fatigued around March 21st, her dad came to drop off some laundry he had done for her and see the baby. He came into the house wearing a mask, put the laundry basket full of clothes he’d washed for her on the floor and said, “Let me see my baby boy.” Mija said no because she felt a bit nervous with everything that had been going on with her grandmother and her dad now starting to feel sick. “C’mon Mij I’m wearing a mask I just want to see that smile,” he said, and she let her dad take a look at the baby and he told him “Love you! I’ll see you soon,” and blew him a kiss as he walked out of her front door.
On Monday her grandmother started to feel worse, so her father had taken her to the hospital. A few days later, Mija was speaking with her dad on the phone when he started gasping, she asked “Daddy are you okay?” he responded while taking another deep breath, “Yeah, let me write this check.” She proceeded to tell him you cannot breathe why are you gasping like that, he told her while laughing “Don’t worry I just have the hiccups,” She then raised her voice and in a serious tone told him, “You need to call your doctor and go to the hospital because you can’t breathe.” The following day her grandmother tested positive for coronavirus, although because she did not require any immediate medical attention, she was sent home from the hospital to self-quarantine. A few days passed by and her father began to feel better, her brother had visited him and dropped off things at their father’s house and everything was okay. On the 28th she called her dad and he explained he had been in a lot of pain; he was passed out sprawled across his bed, sleeping most of the day because he hadn’t been feeling well. The next day her grandmother was sent back to the hospital. Around 6:30 in the morning, Gabby called Mija freaking out “What happened? Daddy’s in the hospital?! What’s going on?” She told her sister to calm down and let’s see what happens.
During the beginning week of her father being in the hospital, Mija focused on not letting her anxiety get the best of her and keeping a positive mindset. Her brother was the primary person who was in contact with the hospital. Every morning around 6:30 they would get a call, and each day it was something different. One day her father was responsive, not relying on the ventilators to breathe the next day he was. Each day she kept working on her faith, praying and hoping for the best regardless of the fear that was trying to creep up on her in her mind. She knew this is the only way to handle things especially because she now didn’t only have to take care of herself, but her son as well.
“It was hard not knowing anything about this disease, yet my Dad already had underlying issues like kidney issues because of his diabetes and being overweight, he was also on steroids, I had no idea at the time, so that was only causing his blood to be even thicker, making it harder for him to breathe,” Mija said. “Not being able to get in contact with him was hard for us and the nurses didn’t really help, but you can’t blame them, Brooklyn hospital was so overcrowded, there were people in beds throughout the hallways” she explained. On April 6th when Mija’s brother spoke to the hospital the nurse explained that they should come and say their goodbyes because there was not much else for them to do at that point. That night she was on her hands and knees praying to God for something to change. She contacted a medium, which she and her dad had visited in the past. Mija asked the medium to pray for her father and the medium explained she was able to connect with his spirit because he was in a semi-coma, she explained “I see your father wearing this gray suit with a Lakers patch.” Mija’s father was one of the bodyguards for the Los Angeles Lakers when they were in New York. The medium then continued to say, “Whether he is here physically or spiritually, he’s always going to protect that baby.” After that phone call, she knew what was going to happen.
Around 8:30 A.M. the next day her family had received the news that her grandmother had passed away. Later on, while sitting on her living room couch on the phone with her sister Gabby, Mija told her, “I think grandma finally let go so that Daddy could be here with us.” That is when she received the phone call from her brother. She didn’t want to answer but Gabby convinced her to, her brother couldn’t find the words and eventually started to bawl, but she couldn’t find the tears to cry. Later that night around 1 A.M. Mija stayed up until 8 o’clock in the morning sitting on her bed with her knees to her chest just crying, surprisingly her baby slept through the night and was very being a really good boy. The following day she hadn’t eaten, had a horrible headache, and eyes so swollen they looked as if they were about to pop out. Everyone that was reaching out kept telling her she couldn’t be alone and to go to her aunt’s house, but she stayed home, laying on her bed with her son, and was on the phone regularly talking to one of her friends. She still couldn’t even begin to process the emotions, having post-partum depression her father was helping her a tremendous amount with the baby, and now he was gone.
The day following his death many people who her dad worked for started to reach out and show so lots of love which started to help her feel better. Her father worked as a bodyguard for many celebrities, people like Fabolous, Fat Joe, T.I., Cardi B, the Lakers Association. Many of them and so much more began to reach out to their family to share their love for her father. It really helped shift her mind on how great of a man her father was and how much he was loved, instead of focusing on what had just happened. She doesn’t regret the time away that was spent with her dad because it was nothing of underlying animosity or hatred, they just could not always see eye to eye and were simply too alike causing them to get into fights. She reflected on many milestones in her life, explaining a time where she met Drake, one of her favorite artists. Her dad had been working as security for him one night in a club, and he brought his daughters so they could meet Drake. “He kept repeating do not say anything stupid he says hello you say it back…” Eventually the rapper came up to Mija and her little sister Samantha asking their names when someone says in the background “Those are Said’s daughters,” and Drake then proceeded to tell Mija how awesome and what an amazing dad her father is. She knew how amazing her father was, because of his support and love for her and the rest of their family and it felt good to know all of these celebrities valued him just as much.
To this day her family has still not been able to have a funeral for her father and they just recently had him cremated. At the beginning of the pandemic, there were vans set up like iceboxes outside of the Brooklyn hospital because there was nowhere to put all of the bodies of those who were passing away. The coronavirus situation in New York was so bad to the point there was no one in the greater Brooklyn area that was able to take his body from the hospital, her family had to call someone from upstate to help the family out. Even in these times of uncertainty she still doesn’t feel that the hospital could have done all they could have. Her father’s clothing, phone, and wallet were never recovered because the nurses said they could not find anything. On his death certificate, they didn’t write in that it was due to coronavirus, but of natural causes instead. Something about that all gives her an uneasy feeling although she redirects her thoughts when she begins to dwell on the things that she has no control over. She is still learning to grieve every day and doesn't talk to very many people about the situation. “I’ve learned to stop crying when talking about it, but do not ask me to try and listen to something with his voice,” she said with a shaky tone. Today she knows her father is still watching over her and her child and she feels at ease knowing that she really did know her father and regardless of their ups and downs, their love for one another was unconditional and his legacy lives on.
Комментарии